So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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