the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
