I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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