Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
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