I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
