When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
