is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
