.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize