I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
