How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
