For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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