i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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