I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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