I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
