Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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