i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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