brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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