So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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