My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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