I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
