Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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