Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize