so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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