i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
