I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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