how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
