Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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