i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
