also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
