I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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