Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
