Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
