he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
