Buhtt sex?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
