Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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