It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize