Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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