Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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