Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
