you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
