It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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