I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
