im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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