I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He passed out mid-signature
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
