as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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