does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
