I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
