dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
