So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
