in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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