I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
