im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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