dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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