I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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