How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
