i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
