the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We left the knife in your bed.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
