I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
