There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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