She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
