Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
