when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I understand Curling. That high.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
