was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
